Monday, July 31, 2006

I WILL get healthy!

I'm uhhh fat. There, I said it. I am. I didn't think I was, but looking at pictures and the fact that my clothes keep shrinking, well, I think it's time to face the facts. I. am. fat. Now, I'm not being down on myself - I'm not saying I'm fat and ugly, because I don't think I am. Ugly that is. But I am fat.

So I decided that once school started back up, I'd go for a walk after dropping them off at school. Even something small to get off my butt! School started last week, and so did I. I'm not walking far, or long, but it's a start, right? Right now I'm at about 18 minutes, and I'll slowly add more time. Today after my walk, I noticed my 17 year old son's bike in the garage, and thought "hmmmmm!" So I took it for a whirl around the block. Ok, it's been ages since I've been on a bike! What fun! But it was definitely a different exercize than walking, and I was winded when I got back. I think I'll add the bike ride to my plan. Tomorrow, I'll go around twice!

And you know what? Even if I don't lose weight, I feel better about ME.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Best picture I've taken in a while

And the subject matter is cute, too!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

a light-bulb moment

How many times have you heard/read the story of the prodigal son? Hundreds at least probably. The son says "hey dad, give me my inheritance now, I wanna go have some fun." So the dad does, and the son goes to Vegas and blows it all on cheap booze and cheap women. So when the money's gone and times are hard, he realizes what a fool he's been and goes back home. Once he gets there, the father runs to him and is so happy his son came back. Throws a big party, grills up a side of beef... A wonderful picture of forgiveness, right? We all play the prodigal way too much in our lives. But there's something else there that seems to me to overlooked most of the time. What does the son say? He says "I have sinned, I am no longer worthy to be called your son, treat me as a hired hand." He doesn't say "I'm sorry, now give back everything I had before" or "I'm sorry, treat me as a hired hand... but if you want to throw a big party for me, that's cool..." There's an attitude of repentance and remorse that the son has that I think is as important of a lesson as the lesson of forgiveness.

I've been giving a lot of thought to the subjects of forgiveness and restoration. Forgiveness for me is much easier than restoration. I don't even have to know that the person is sorry because forgiveness is for me, not them. Restoration of the damaged relationship requires the rebuilding of trust, and that's so hard. I'm so thankful that God doesn't require what we do for restoration - we are going to sin again, that's a given. But God restores us to the position of sons and daughters anyway.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

A must-read blog

http://shapeofamother.blogspot.com/ - if you are a mom, you HAVE to see this blog.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Conquering my fear...

of the toilet!! Well, I'm not really afraid of the toilet, it's more a
fear of the toilet needing to be repaired. Or anything else in the
house for that matter. It's one of the things I hate most about being a
divorced parent with a house. When something breaks, I am the one
responsible for it. I can't make someone else do it, I can't blame
someone else when it doesn't get done, and I can't ignore the problem.
At least before I could defer to the "man of the house," even if he
wasn't mechanically inclined enough to know which end of a screwdriver
was up. It was still his responsibility to either figure it out, or
hire someone to do it for him. The other part of the whole thing is that
I can't necessarily afford to hire people to come and fix my stuff when
it breaks. In reality, I actually have no business owning a house,
except for I have all these kids for whom I need to provide shelter. So
this phobia I have is really ridiculous because I grew up watching
people fix things. My dad owned a plumbing/maintenance company, and my
mom was pretty handy with tools herself. My sister vinyl sided her own
house and built a deck! With her own two hands! (ok, she did have
help... but she was up there hammering nails and sawing wood and
whatever else needed to be done.) I know I have some mechanical common
sense - I can get those pressed board furniture things from Walmart and
figure out the directions to assemble them myself. I'm not manly enough
to do it without the directions, which is a good thing because I'm not a
man :) And I used to help fix things all the time. So what's the
problem with now? Why am I so afraid to even try to fix the leaky
faucet, or the running toilet? Maybe because I'm afraid of making them
worse. It brings to mind the time I tried to encourage my former
husband to fix the toilet. He really was mechanically challenged, and I
believed that if he'd just try, he'd be able to figure it out. So I
bought the toilet innards that came with instructions, and presented
them to him as a gift. He tried, he really did, and I do give him
credit for that. I learned my lesson though when he called me at work a
few days later and said "you need to come home. Now. I tried to fix
the toilet, and now there is water spraying out of the bathroom walls."
That plumber we had to hire after that was so not cheap... But at any
rate, somehow I don't think that praying things don't break is the answer.

This morning while I was at work, I got a text message from my daughter.
"Houston, we have a problem...." I don't know what she was talking
about, we live in Phoenix. Anyway, something had gone horribly wrong
with the toilet and there was water everywhere. I was thinking plugged
toilet, overflow, ewwwwwwww. She assured me it wasn't anything that
simple. Oh yay. But it was time to face my fears. The hose that goes
from the water line to the tank had broken. The kids were able to get
the water turned off, but I dreaded facing this thing, because I didn't
know what was involved in fixing it. I disconnected rest of the hose
and took it to the hardware store. The lady there assured me it wasn't
hard to fix, and I was comforted that it was a female, surely if she
knew how to do this stuff, I could figure it out! And she was right, it
was as easy as changing a light bulb.

So today I faced my fears of fixing the toilet, and I did it myself. I
am now encouraged to face other home repair issues head on. Or move
into an apartment :P

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Helping kids through abuse

When I discovered my daughter had been abused, I searched and searched for resources on the internet, mainly to help me help her through the trauma. I found very little. The message boards or groups that I found were full of people who seemed to want to perpetuate the victim lifestyle in themselves and in those they loved. I am looking to communicate with others who are in the position to help someone else through abuse, people who desire true healing and recovery so that we can be a support to each other and a help. If you are interested, please contact me

Friday, July 14, 2006

READ THIS!!!


Looking for GREAT Christian fiction? There's a new book coming out from Lisa Samson, and I CAN'T WAIT! Check out Straight Up, due out September 15th. She tells stories with a realness and honesty that is very rare in Christian fiction. Find out about her other books on Lisa Samson's Blog. I particularly recommend Songbird. It was one of those books that left me thinking for a long time.