Sunday, September 03, 2006

It IS enough...

Ok, so, this compassion problem of mine... I've been having a hard time praying about it, probably because I knew I was in the wrong. It was this big huge thing I couldn't get past and my attitude stunk. I was pretty much refusing to let go of this attitude, because it kinda felt good. Righteous indignation and all that. Except, it wasn't righteous.

So last night at work, I was reading a book. A fiction book, Church Ladies by Lisa Samson. (YES, I do read other authors, but I REALLY like her style of writing, it just strikes a chord with me.) So in this story, the main character, Poppy, is feeling all guilty and having a hard time letting that go. Her friend said something to her about how by taking that guilt back it was like telling Jesus that the cross was not quite enough of a sacrifice. OUCH. I've been doing the same thing by holding on to anger about certain things. Christ's cross was not just for my sins, it was for my daughter being sexually abused. It was for the guy who raped my other daughter's roommate, should he ever choose to accept it. It was for all those sins that have caused so much hurt. I've been so arrogant in my attitudes towards those people. Vengence is not mine, only I was trying to take it anyway...By holding on to these attitudes, I've made my own views on these people more important than Christ's view. I have trivialized Christ's sacrifice on the cross because of my own arrogance and pride.

That change of heart I was looking for in my last post on the subject? I think this may be it. God is SO good.

1 comment:

Paulette said...

Connie, I am sorry you have had so much pain. Yes we do have a lot in common. I am sorry about your daughter, and the roomate. I can certainly relate to it. It sounds like you are doing a great job in dealing with it, and being dependant on Christ, it really is the only way.
Yes I am in the first stages of my divorce. It has been very difficult for me emotionally but God is my refuge, and he has gotten me through much much worse if that is possible.
I am glad I visited you, I will keep comming to visit.
Stay strong and in his grip!!