Monday, October 02, 2006

Trusting God

Does it ever become something you just automatically do when things happen? I confess it hasn't yet for me. Although I am getting better - instead of immediately panicking over the situation, now as soon as I feel the panic starting, I think "ok, God has taken care you this far, why on Earth would you think He's going to stop now?" but still, I have to remind myself sometimes on a minute by minute basis. I guess I'm disappointed in myself! And just what is my problem anyway, why should I think I shouldn't be faced with these things? I was telling someone what it is I'm attempting to trust God for - it's a money thing. Every time I get a raise, it's one step forward, two steps back. Last time I got a raise, my house payment was going up $80 a month. Now the city has decided to give us a raise, and I was all praising God for that. I thought things would get a little easier, the ends would meet a little better. Nope. I found out the other day that I will likely be losing at least $280 in child support starting this month. So as I was telling this person that this stuff happens to me, her response was "Join the club!" I was kind of surprised. But... aren't I entitled to have things get better?! I know that happens to other people, but, after all we've gone through...And then I realized how arrogant was I to think that way. No, I'm not entitled to anything! God provides many things that in the absence of Grace that we absolutely do not deserve, but He still provides them. I suppose I really needed that reminder. OUCH. So I'll trust Him because He is Jehovah Jirah, our provider, even if I have to remind myself over and over. And I will thank Him for gently taking me down a notch and reminding me who is Boss.

2 comments:

Julie said...

Connie, I am so excited. Because last night I was standing in my bathroom and the Lord brought you to my heart and I felt led to pray about your finances. No kidding!
So, I did. Then I read this and I thought, God, YOU are so amazing!

Anyway, trust is something we learn in increments. It's a major theme in my life as well. TRUST. It sounds so simple. Thankfully, we can ask Him to HELP us trust Him. And believe me, I do.

Connie said...

Julie, I get choked up when I think about this! Ok, not only is God amazing, but it just touches me that someone who has never met me would think to pray for me and my family without being asked. I'm so blessed!