Thursday, July 26, 2007

A good question

In the comments on the post about my son's car, Din asked: what made you such a tight believer in God?

That's a good question Din. Part of the answer is that I've just always believed in God. My parents weren't very religious or a good role model for much of anything, but in our house it was understood that God was real. There have been times when I've questioned that belief, but I've always come away in the end finding more reasons to believe than not. But just believing because my parents did is really not good enough. My faith had to become my own, and in order for that to happen, I had to experience God for myself. I had to have first hand faith.

Most of the answer is because I've experienced God first hand. Nothing in my life has ever been easy. I didn't have a great childhood. My dad was an alcoholic and my mom died of cancer when I was 10. He then married a lady who was very often cruel to me. I think the thing that helped me make it through then was that I knew once I became an adult, things would be better. They were better in some ways, but not easier. I made a lot of bad decisions, for example, having a baby way too young and getting married to the wrong person for the wrong reason. But as much as I messed up, God always took care of us. God is always faithful even when I am not. There are plenty of examples of this throughout my life, but there's one that stands out above all others. I've talked about it a lot on this blog.

The main thing that made me such a tight believer in God was when I witnessed first hand Him stepping in to protect His children. In early 2004, my ex husband had been involved in some really bad things. He was sexually abusing my daughter, and he was bragging about what he had been doing all across the internet. One day in February, he took her with him to meet one of these people he had been bragging to. This person lived in a city about 2 hours away, and they decided to meet so that they could prove to each other that neither one was a cop, and both were really into abusing little kids. The way he was supposed to prove his sincerity was to bring my daughter with him. Once the meeting happened, they discussed getting together again so this other person could also do bad things to my daughter. They met on February 28th. They set up their next meeting for March 12th. But on February 26th, the authorities got a copy of some of the logs from the internet chats, and began a frenzied search to find the people involved. On February 27th, the authorities identified that one of the persons involved was at my address. On March 1st, they swooped in and arrested my ex-husband. My daughter was rescued. I am convinced this was divine intervention, and if God had not stepped in and stopped what these evil men were doing, my daughter would not be here.

But before God stepped in and stopped them, He put me and my kids in the place we needed to be to get help. We became members of our church just weeks before after going there for a really long time. While we were talking to church leadership about becoming members, they told us that they put a priority on helping members when they had needs as opposed to people who just attended services without making a commitment. Well, God knew we would have some big needs soon! That was part of God's provision for us. The church paid my house payment until I could get a job to do so myself, they paid for counseling for my daughter and me, and the people there loved us and supported us through one of the absolute worst times of my life.

There were several times through that whole mess that I really just wanted to curl up and die. It was SO HARD. By best friend had betrayed me in ways I never could have imagined. He violated my trust and tried to destroy that which was most important to me. He left me with huge stacks of bills and no way to pay them, and he left me with broken and hurting children. God was there though. God told me if I would CHOOSE to trust Him, He would provide, and He would mend our broken hearts. He has more than provided, and He has indeed healed the hurt. God is faithful, when we can't see a way, He makes one. I could not see at all how I would be able to support my kids on my own! But here I am, 3 1/2 years later, doing just that - providing for them with God's help. One thing I learned through that was that I had a choice to make - I could focus on how much pain I was in, or I could choose to thank God even for breathing. When I chose to focus on the pain, the pain became worse. When I chose to thank God for the even the smallest of things, I found the hope and the strength to make it through it.

There are still circumstances everyday in which I have to choose to trust God and choose to be thankful, none quite as traumatic as what happened March 1st, 2004, but now I know that I can trust God whatever happens.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

So Din, I know you are having a hard time right now. If you have any questions for me, please feel free to email me directly, I'm praying for you.

And bloggy friends - I pose the same question to you - What makes YOU such a tight believer in God? Please post your answer in the comments or leave a link. I'd like as many people to answer this question as possible, so if you feel like spreading the word, please do.


Din said...


I don’t know where to start. So I'll just start and say how sorry I am for all those horrible things happening to you. It's just come to show how strong you are to overcome them. I wish I had half of your character.

As for God, I wrote a post about it… you're welcome to read it.

Rebekah said...

A very good question. Here is a link to my post.

aka_Meritt said...

Heavy question for today. I may answer on my blog at some point but I'm not sure I have a short answer for the comment box. :)

Debbie said...

Hi, I love your blog and am also a fellow-believer. God has showed Himself real to me so many times, it would be hard to answer your question in one simple word. Hope you'll visit my blog sometime. I appreciate yours and your willingness to share your faith.

Michelle said...

. . . cause He walks with me,
and He talks with me
and He tells me that I'm His own . .

Erna said...

What a great question you posed! I hope to answer it in my blog but want to have time to write it up. :0) I have to get laundry finished tonight. Just thought I'd share that I plan to respond to this one. :0)