Friday, December 28, 2007

30 years

The world sure is a different place than it was 30 years ago. Computers were just starting to be made for individual use, but to most people, the idea was still foreign. In my house now, we have 3... If you wanted to talk on the phone, chances are it had to be plugged into the wall. Cell phones weren't widely available then, and the ones that did exist were about the weight of a large newborn. Music was on vinyl, cassette, or 8 track. Cars I guess aren't really all that different, except for air bags, anti-lock breaks, and no more leaded gasoline. They look a little different on the outside, but they still basically function the same way, they just don't fly like people 30 years ago thought they would. And 30 years ago, you could still go to a gas station and have someone pump your gas, wash your windshield, check your oil and air up your tires. Of course, cars today probably cost as much as a house did back then!

In 30 years I've graduated from high school, gotten married a couple times, divorced a couple times, had a bunch of kids, moved 2000 miles, and still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up. It took me almost all of the 30 years but I finally have figured out my own self worth. I guess I'm a slow learner :)

30 years ago today I was 10 years old and became motherless. I often wonder how my life would have been different if my mom would have lived, but then I really can't imagine. No matter how the world has changed in 30 years, no matter how I've changed in 30 years, there's one thing that doesn't change - there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my mom and miss her.

I'm looking forward to seeing her again, but not quite yet. I don't want my kids to wonder what it would be like to grow up with a mom.

In loving memory of Linda Jean Childers Kowalcyk - 1941-1977


Grafted Branch @ Restoring the Years said...

:( Oh Connie, I'm so sorry.

She was young.

And God is still God; aren't we so glad? Sometimes it's the only thing *to* be glad about with something like that.

Stay safe this New Year's, o.k.?

Connie said...

Thanks Grafted :) Yes, God is still God, and that's been the biggest comfort of all.

I'll be safe this new years - safely tucked away inside the fortress that is the police communications office :P My kids will be at home, so I'm as confident as I can be that they'll be safe too. I don't think there's anything that could make me go out on New Years Eve if I absolutely didn't have to!

Love Bears All Things said...

I'm sorry. You've missed a lot of years with your mother. Mine died in 2005.
It is scary to look back sometimes. My grans think I lived in the dark ages. They just got the interactive video game console, Wii. It's amazing.
Sorry you're working New Year's Eve. I hope the year holds all you hope for.
Mama Bear

Joanne said...

From one motherless daughter to another...I am so sorry. I was much older when my mom died of cancer but it still is a gaping hole in my life.

I am so grateful that I have my sister to talk with about it. Just today I received a comment on a writers blog that I was on...the commenters' mother's! It sent a chill down my spine.

No matter how old we get, we will always miss our mom. When we get to Heaven how about we introduce each other to our moms?!? I don't want to go just yet, but that is one of the reasons I am so looking forward to going.

God Bless, Joanne

Susie said...

I can't imagine being without my mom, even though we don't spend as much time together as I'd like. I'm so sorry for you and the years missed. Fortunately, your kids have a wonderful mother in you. Be blessed this new year.

Isadora said...

This is a time for reflection and it is very healthy. You have memories of your Mom and God always has a purpose for what He does - even if we don't understand. My Mom is alive but she does not always know what is happening - to me that is sadder than if she were gone. An energetic, healthy woman all her life she was a caretaker and now she is helpless and alone in her world. The best thing at all times is to release things to the Lord and be strengthened.

Happy new year!

Debbie C. said...

I am sorry about the death of your mother. Isn't it so interesting how God works in all of our lives so differently? My parents were neither one very caring or loving of their four children. I don't think they meant to be that way, it's just the way it was. My dad died when I was 21 and my mother has Alzheimers and doesn't even know me now. But God placed people in my life to fill the gaps. God always fills the gaps in our lives, doesn't He? It amazes me - His love for us. I pray you have a wonderful New Year and a blessed year.

Janean said...

Remembering her right along with ya'. SHe had to be an awesome lady, cuz she made such a wonderful kid.

I worry about that, sometimes. What would happen to my kids if something happened to me?
One more thing to worry about.