Wednesday, January 16, 2008

7 weird things

My friend Rebekah at Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe (gosh I love that title) tagged me for this meme last week sometime. Yes, I'm a little slow... I'm supposed to tell 7 weird things about myself and then tag 7 more, but I'm not so much into tagging, so if you want to play along, feel free.

I've actually been wracking my brain trying to figure out what's NOT weird about me, and what is weird that I'm willing to share. See, I think it's because I grew up without a mom that I've always felt weird. It might in fact be easier (quicker, shorter) to tell you what's normal about me! But I'll give the weird a shot...

1) I've been trying to grow my bangs out for the first time in my entire life. They are now right at my mouth, so we're almost there. The weird thing? I sleep with my hair in a ponytail on top of my head because I hate when my hair is in my face. Get that? I hate when my hair is in my face WHILE I'M SLEEPING.

2) But let's back up... I hate having my hair in my face, SO I'M GROWING MY BANGS OUT. Does that make sense to you?! I think it's a little weird. My hair seems to always be in my face these days.

3) Working at night and sleeping during the day brings on a weirdness of it's own. I feel like I'm bass ackwards with no hope of straightening out.

4) I love watching football on TV. I turn on the game, grab a blanket, something to drink, and camp out on the couch. 9 times out of 10, I fall asleep. BUT pity the fool who tries to touch the remote while I'm sleeping!

5) I will not eat fig newtons. I haven't since I was 4. I'll tell you why. When I was 4 years old, my mother took us to West Virginia to see relatives. It might have been for a family reunion, I'm not sure. It might have even been the one where my rather rotund uncle twice removed or whatever stepped on my pinky and caused me to lose the fingernail (it grew back) but that's a different story. Anyway. The house we stayed at this particular trip was very small, and it was a very long drive there from Cleveland Ohio, at least for a 4 year old. I ended up sleeping with my mother, which I gather was not fun for her because she used to tell me I was a "kicker." I'm guessing that neither of us had a restful night that night. We had just arrived, and everybody was tired and cranky, so off to bed we went. I had the most vivid dream (and I remember it) that we stopped along the way and my mom bought me a Nestle's crunch bar. So when I woke up in the middle of the night after kicking my mom, I wanted the candy bar from my dream. When my mother could not produce the chocolate, I began to have a tantrum. It was one of those over-tired, half asleep tantrums that I probably would not have thrown if I would have been in my own house and all. Anyway, I woke the whole house demanding my Nestle's crunch bar. Well, there was no chocolate to be found in the whole house. Instead my aunt said "I have fig newtons, would you like a fig newton instead?" No I did not want a fig newton instead, how can you even think that is an acceptable substitute?!?! Since then, I have not eaten fig newtons. I see no reason to start now.

6) I like the "skin" that forms on the pudding you have to cook.

7) Apparently, I'm an addict. That's right, I have an addiction to... chap stick. I didn't know it was possible, but, according to my doctor, it is, and I'm a full blown addict. I can see it now - You'll see me on the news - not for beer theft at a convenience store, but for chap stick theft from Walgr33ns. I'll get a way with a lot of it, but you'll see the rerun of the clerk giving my description all over the news. "Well I think she had kinda shortish brown hair, and was wearing a blue polo shirt that had some kinda logo on it.... I didn't notice the pants, but what really struck me were those wild crazy eyes and horribly chapped lips!! She said 'Hand over the chap stick and nobody gets hurts!' Looked real insane, I wasn't gonna stand in her way!" Of course it will start out peaceful enough - walk in, take what you want, and leave - simple theft. But as the addiction grows I'll become more and more desperate for that next fix, and soon we've got commercial burglary, strong armed robbery, and *GASP* Armed robbery! Actually, I've gone cold turkey, and threw away my stash. Apparently the paraffin in the chap stick makes lips feel better at first but does more damage in the long run so that you need more of it more often, and eventually weakens the skin on the lips. I learned this the hard way, and let's just say it's not fun when lips addicted to chap stick get a cold sore.

So yeah. If a chap stick addiction isn't weird, I don't know what is.

5 comments:

Eduardo said...

I can't take it anymore.

I grew up with four sisters. I have a daughter. I was married once.

All my life I've heard about "bangs". What the heck is a bang? I get that it is hair. Why is a bang? Do dudes have bangs (don't laugh)? Can't we call it hair?

Rebekah said...

LOL, thanks for playing. I can atest to working nights making a person weird.
I dont need chap stick all the time but I HAVE to put it on before I go to bed or I can't sleep.
If you are growing your bangs out, you need to up date you "cousin it" look in your side bar

Janean said...

My gram used to make cooked chocolate pudding and I thought I was weird because I loved the skin!!
I think we really are twins seperated at birth. Except maybe I'm the old one... :D

I have a friend here who's boyfriend is addicted to chapstick. She bought him six tubes and wrapped them all seperately for his stocking. And he DRIVES with a tube in his left hand. NOW that's SCARY.

Plus, I have to tell you I bought some a few weeks ago from the Walgr33ns and it's called "Chicken Poop Lip Junk". I kid you not! There is a disclaimer that says "Does not contain real chicken poop". It does work really well, though. :D

Rebekah said...

Hello?? Anybody home? You haven't posted in, uhm, like a month. Everything ok?

Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years said...

*knock, knock*

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

*knock, knock*

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

*knock, knock*

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

(Just checkin' in, Connie. How are you?)