Thursday, February 28, 2008

4 years

Saturday, March 1st will be the 4th anniversary of the day my whole world changed. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out this post or the links under the title "posts that tell our story" in my sidebar. Yeah, pretty awful stuff really. I've referred to March 1st, 2004 as my own personal September 11th, and each year since then I've marked the occasion with doing something different - buying something or going somewhere special for lunch. I know it sounds silly, but it was part to acknowledge the pain, and part to celebrate the healing. Last year in my anniversary post, I wrote:
3 years later, I want so much to put it all into a box, categorize and catalogue everything about the whole ordeal; who we both were at the time, what was wrong with us that caused this to happen, and the end result. And then I want to put that box away and never open it again. But life doesn't work that way. Just when I think I've got something figured out, and filed away in my neat little box, life reminds me just how messy it is. My box falls down off the shelf and everything spills out again.
This year, things are much different. I don't feel that way anymore. I don't need to make it go away or put it in a box, because it's over. This year I won't be acknowledging the pain, because it's healed. This year I'll just be celebrating, because God is SO good and has brought us through in such an amazing way. I'm FREE. Free from the manipulation that was present in the marriage, and free from so much of junk that was in my life before. God has healed way more than the hurt of my husband's betrayal.

Some people will not be able to understand this, but I'm convinced the only reason I'm doing as well as I am is because I have totally forgiven my ex-husband. There is no anger or hatred in me anymore over what he did. I'll even tell you that we have limited contact, and we're on good terms. He doesn't have contact with any of my kids, including the one that is his, and I don't know if that will happen anytime soon, but we write to each other once a month.

Now, just to be clear, I feel totally healed, but I'm not going to sit here and tell you my daughter is totally healed. She's doing extremely well, but I think she's probably not going to be fully healed until she's an adult and can process it all. I'm not assuming my son is healed from abruptly losing his father and 2 half brothers either, but he's doing well too.

FOR ME, there is no more anger, no more hurt, no more mourning. Just freedom. And I'm celebrating it.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Another thing about 911 you may not know

I've mentioned that any cell phone, even those without service, can dial 911 as long as the battery is charged, because a lot of people don't know that.

Another thing a lot of people don't seem to know is that when you dial 911 and they transfer you to another agency, they can still hear you. It's not the same as most places where you are put on hold while they dial the other number. (I'm fairly certain that it works this way for all 911 centers, but I could be wrong.) So for example, when someone calls for an ambulance and I transfer them to the fire department, I can hear what's going on in the background, or rude comments people make. And this morning when the guy called about the vehicle speeding down the freeway, when he thought he was on hold waiting for highway patrol, I heard every word he said when he told his buddy in the car "Dude, never date a 911 operator, they're just NUTS!"

Just a little FYI so that us nuts don't hear you say things you think we can't :D

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Another birthday

My baby turned 8 this past Sunday. I guess he's not such a baby anymore *sniff* We went over a friend's house for Bible study and dinner, and had cake and ice cream for him. He always has a blast there because there are so many kids. One of the kids there has a snake, which my son absolutely loves, as does my 16 year old daughter.

Birthday boy with Pandora the rat snake

No post about a kid's birthday would be complete without a picture of the best part - the cake!

(It's a pokemon)

It's been a while

For a while I wasn't posting because I was whiny. I had a pretty bad outbreak of eczema, which I guess turned into a pretty bad case of dermatitis, and I wasn't much fun to be around. Then I just got busy and haven't been keeping up well with this or friend's blogs.

When the eczema was at it's worst, I started doing some research and decided I needed to start eating better to help control it, so I started that around the middle of January. Then I went to the doctor because I was miserable, and was simply horrified by the number on the scale. When I went back 2 weeks later, still miserable, I weighed 7 lbs less. When I went back 2 weeks after that for a follow up (and feeling much better) I had lost another 3 lbs. Now I seem to be stuck, despite eating a lot better and less, and exercising. But I'm not going to give up. I'm trying to get up the courage to be real, spill how much I really do weigh, and post a picture, because public humiliation is a great motivator (although, people in real life see me everyday, as if that's not bad enough!) The thing is, even with only having lost 10 lbs, I have so much more energy. For a long time I've felt useless most of the time, getting not a lot done most of the time. Lately I've even been doing yardwork! *gasp* Little changes do make a big difference.

Thanks to those of you who may still be reading who asked what's up in the past couple days, I really appreciate it! I think I'm ready to come back from my blogging sabbatical, so don't think it's that easy to be rid of me!